J. Paul Getty once said: “The individual who wants to reach the top in business must appreciate the might and force of habit. He must be quick to break those habits that can break him—and hasten to adopt those practices that will become the habits that help him achieve the success he desires.”
Brian Tracy also believes that your ability and willingness to discipline yourself to accept personal responsibility for your life is essential to happiness, health, success, achievement, and personal leadership. Accepting responsibility is one of the hardest disciplines, but without it, no success is possible.
Tracy notes that failing to accept responsibility and blaming others for things that make you unhappy distorts cause and effect, undermines character, weakens resolve, and diminishes humanity. Over time, 80% of people never accept full responsibility for their lives. They complain, criticize, make excuses, and blame others, sabotaging their chances for success and happiness.
From Childhood to Maturity
During childhood, parents make most decisions, and children naturally follow. As people grow, they begin to make their own choices. However, early programming often conditions them to feel someone else is responsible for their lives. Many adults continue this pattern, making excuses and blaming others for unhappiness in their lives.
Overcoming Parental Mistakes
Critical or punitive parenting can leave deep emotional scars. Children punished for mistakes may develop feelings of guilt, unworthiness, and inadequacy. As adults, they may feel inferior, comparing themselves to others and falling into emotional traps that affect confidence and self-esteem.
The Fatal Fallacy
Believing that others are better than you creates a subconscious sense of being “worth less.” This feeling of inadequacy underlies many personality, social, and even national issues. To cope, people lash out at the world, asking, “Who’s to blame?” whenever something goes wrong.
Tracy emphasizes that religions often reinforce guilt and blame, which fuels anger, resentment, and irresponsibility.
Eliminating Negative Emotions
Happiness arises from the absence of negative emotions. Common negative emotions—guilt, resentment, envy, jealousy, fear, hostility—ultimately stem from anger, directed either inward or outward. Anger and negativity persist when we blame others for what we dislike in our lives.
Accepting responsibility requires self-discipline and self-control. It means taking ownership of everything you are, become, and experience, and responding positively to circumstances beyond your control.
Blaming Is Easy, Responsibility Is Powerful
Blaming is the path of least resistance. People often lash out at others—or even inanimate objects—when things go wrong. Accepting responsibility, however, transforms a person from a “mental child” into a “mental adult,” taking charge of life instead of seeing oneself as a victim.
The Antidote to Negative Emotions
The fastest way to eliminate negative emotions is to say, “I am responsible!” whenever a situation triggers anger or negativity. The Law of Substitution allows you to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Accepting responsibility is incompatible with anger and negative emotions, bringing calm, clarity, and focus.
When you accept responsibility, you transform your mindset, gain control over your life, and stop the cycle of blaming others. Self-discipline and personal responsibility are essential for growth, happiness, and success.
“As long as you are blaming someone else for something in your life that you do not like, you will remain a ‘mental child.’”
BY CAPT. SAM ADDAIH (RTD)
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